Right.
Recently i've been kinda sorta busy, working on a film as a set photographer. What makes me kinda happy is that a few commercials and other jobs i went to haven't paid up yet. Makes me happy knowing i do have a contract with the guys and they will pay up before the year ends
Also makes me happy cause the photo studio will finally happen. I've always been raising money and always spending it on stuff, then going "Oh, damn, where'd it all go?". So basically now is my chance hehe.

There may be a few models in store for me, met some nice ladies on the shoots i went to and finally i might do some typology research so to speak, based on the diversity of models. Always wanted to do that.

I do notice how sometimes life just drags itself slowly, whilst some months are just incredibly busy. Right now i'm having "fun".

------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A story bout how a careless moment can mess up a family's life. It is just something i was telling someone. It was mostly bout how after someone has a kid, is more self absorbed, or more family absorbed (or at least towards his/her new founded family). I was thinking that at least in the beginning there is something changed in them, just like it is in someone who has suffered an enormous physical pain, and it doesn't matter if that person is male or female, the way they manifest themselves is the same, on a specific level. To me there is an analogy between a recent father/mother and a person who is suffering intense pain or having a nerve-wrecking period, unrelated to parenthood. Just the intensity of the self-analysis.



my grandma was involved in a minor car accident
a car was backing up and bumped slightly into her. she fell and has had back problems ever since. poor thing. anyway, after a lot of treatment, she decided (or well, my parents did) that she has to go through a surgery. it was kinda dangerous since it involved spinal proximity, and just watching the look on her face
before she went, it was like, i am old already, my husband died years ago, i should have died with him, now i have to struggle and go through physical pain in order to stay alive in a house i feel i am not wanted.
and nor do i have where to go or what to do since my friends are all mostly dead
so she went
and when she came home it felt as if she were made of clay
she seemed shrunk
and turned more inward, toward herself and self-absorbed.
after a while i noticed she had become more selfish, the back pain did not go away, in spite of the surgery
(all this because of some fuckhead woman who couldn't look in her rear mirror)